Janet Irvine is one of four contributing writers providing resources for professional development on the Cyber Bullying Hotline (see http://www.cyberbullyhotline.com/) - the newest initiative of SchoolReach, a company offering automated parent notification solutions to schools across the US - see http://www.schoolreach.com/.
Choices, made many times every day, affect not only our own lives, but also the lives of others. We may not even be aware that we are making choices as we hurry through busy days, but we are. Whether we are students, teachers, or parents, whether we are children, adolescents, or adults, whether we are in schools, at work, or at home, we all ...decide to deal with people, events, and issues in different ways. All of those decisions are choices.
Essentially, our responses can be summarized by four choices. We can choose not to respond at all. We can choose to respond according to how others do. We can choose to respond in a way that will have a negative impact or we can choose to engage in a positive way. Those are the choices. No one is immune. If you are alive, you make these choices many times, every day.
By definition, bystanders are disengaged. They are on the sidelines, silent, watching, not involved. Most have chosen not to respond; many have chosen to respond by following others around them. In a bullying situation, however, bystanders have chosen to play a negative role, whether that choice is conscious or not, because bystanders provide an audience for the bully and silently promote the bully’s behavior.
When bullying is physical or verbal – when it is something observable – being a bystander requires no action at all. Cyber bullying, on the other hand, invites active bystanders – a new level of disengagement introduced by the existence of cyber space. One click adds to the bystander population and expands the scope of the bullying; it gives the bully a larger audience and increases his or her influence and control. The effects are catastrophic. The bystander suddenly joins the bully, and being a bystander no longer means a choice not to become involved - it means being an anonymous bully.
Choices are funny things. Sometimes they are obvious – choosing what to wear, choosing to smoke or to experiment with drugs – and sometimes they are subtle – not telling a friend that he or she has bad breath, or walking past someone who is obviously upset. Yet two things are unavoidable. Choices – big or small - always have consequences and choices – negative or positive – always carry responsibility.
Bystanders have the potential to escalate bullying. They also have the power to stop it. Yet they are often ignored in our search for solutions. Rather than focus totally on the bully and the victim, prevention measures must include the people who, by their decisions not to be overtly involved, choose to allow bullying to thrive. Students, schools, parents – indeed, our society – must focus on the consequences of disengagement and on the responsibility that accompanies apathy.
Essentially, our responses can be summarized by four choices. We can choose not to respond at all. We can choose to respond according to how others do. We can choose to respond in a way that will have a negative impact or we can choose to engage in a positive way. Those are the choices. No one is immune. If you are alive, you make these choices many times, every day.
By definition, bystanders are disengaged. They are on the sidelines, silent, watching, not involved. Most have chosen not to respond; many have chosen to respond by following others around them. In a bullying situation, however, bystanders have chosen to play a negative role, whether that choice is conscious or not, because bystanders provide an audience for the bully and silently promote the bully’s behavior.
When bullying is physical or verbal – when it is something observable – being a bystander requires no action at all. Cyber bullying, on the other hand, invites active bystanders – a new level of disengagement introduced by the existence of cyber space. One click adds to the bystander population and expands the scope of the bullying; it gives the bully a larger audience and increases his or her influence and control. The effects are catastrophic. The bystander suddenly joins the bully, and being a bystander no longer means a choice not to become involved - it means being an anonymous bully.
Choices are funny things. Sometimes they are obvious – choosing what to wear, choosing to smoke or to experiment with drugs – and sometimes they are subtle – not telling a friend that he or she has bad breath, or walking past someone who is obviously upset. Yet two things are unavoidable. Choices – big or small - always have consequences and choices – negative or positive – always carry responsibility.
Bystanders have the potential to escalate bullying. They also have the power to stop it. Yet they are often ignored in our search for solutions. Rather than focus totally on the bully and the victim, prevention measures must include the people who, by their decisions not to be overtly involved, choose to allow bullying to thrive. Students, schools, parents – indeed, our society – must focus on the consequences of disengagement and on the responsibility that accompanies apathy.
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