Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bystander Choices are Critical


Janet Irvine is one of four contributing writers providing resources for professional development on the Cyber Bullying Hotline (see http://www.cyberbullyhotline.com/)  - the newest initiative of SchoolReach, a company offering automated parent notification solutions to schools across the US - see http://www.schoolreach.com/.


Choices, made many times every day, affect not only our own lives, but also the lives of others. We may not even be aware that we are making choices as we hurry through busy days, but we are. Whether we are students, teachers, or parents, whether we are children, adolescents, or adults, whether we are in schools, at work, or at home, we all ...decide to deal with people, events, and issues in different ways. All of those decisions are choices.
Essentially, our responses can be summarized by four choices. We can choose not to respond at all. We can choose to respond according to how others do. We can choose to respond in a way that will have a negative impact or we can choose to engage in a positive way. Those are the choices. No one is immune. If you are alive, you make these choices many times, every day.
By definition, bystanders are disengaged. They are on the sidelines, silent, watching, not involved. Most have chosen not to respond; many have chosen to respond by following others around them. In a bullying situation, however, bystanders have chosen to play a negative role, whether that choice is conscious or not, because bystanders provide an audience for the bully and silently promote the bully’s behavior.
When bullying is physical or verbal – when it is something observable – being a bystander requires no action at all. Cyber bullying, on the other hand, invites active bystanders – a new level of disengagement introduced by the existence of cyber space. One click adds to the bystander population and expands the scope of the bullying; it gives the bully a larger audience and increases his or her influence and control. The effects are catastrophic. The bystander suddenly joins the bully, and being a bystander no longer means a choice not to become involved - it means being an anonymous bully.
Choices are funny things. Sometimes they are obvious – choosing what to wear, choosing to smoke or to experiment with drugs – and sometimes they are subtle – not telling a friend that he or she has bad breath, or walking past someone who is obviously upset. Yet two things are unavoidable. Choices – big or small - always have consequences and choices – negative or positive – always carry responsibility.
Bystanders have the potential to escalate bullying. They also have the power to stop it. Yet they are often ignored in our search for solutions. Rather than focus totally on the bully and the victim, prevention measures must include the people who, by their decisions not to be overtly involved, choose to allow bullying to thrive. Students, schools, parents – indeed, our society – must focus on the consequences of disengagement and on the responsibility that accompanies apathy.

2012 National Conference on Bullying Orlando, Florida Feb 2012




Northumberland News November 2011

Grafton novelist tackles bullying problem

Former teacher pens book to shatter shroud of silence

November 2011

N_Z_bully_booke
Janet Irvine bullying book. COBOURG -- Janet Irvine, of Grafton, wrote When PUSH Comes to Shove Back, a young-adult novel exploring bullying-related issues in a day in the life of two Grade 9 boys. November 30, 2011 Karen Longwell / Northumberland News
GRAFTON -- A recent rash of bullying-related teen suicides across the country served as a tipping point for a former teacher to tackle the problem in the pages of a young-adult novel.
Janet Irvine of Grafton knows teens. Ms. Irvine spent the bulk of her career at Cobourg District Collegiate Institute West, first as an English teacher, then as a special education teacher and department head as well as a stint in the acting vice principal role, where she regularly came face to face with bullies and their victims. She also serves on the Alnwick/Haldimand Township Police Service Board, acting as a teen liaison with police and sits on the board for the Northumberland Community Counselling Centre.
"I have gained better appreciation for some of the reasons young people turn to bullying," said Ms. Irvine. "I came to realize that the bullies need just as much help as the individuals they bullied."
Her novel, 'When PUSH Comes to Shove Back', chronicles one day in the life of two Grade 9 boys, one, a bully, and the other, his victim. Ms. Irvine said the book is a page-turning, action-packed novel with characters who explore intimidation, manipulation, drugs, and other bullying-related issues. Written for young adult readers, "at a level Grade 9 students will have no trouble with," it is an adventure story, with true-to-life characters, she explained.
"There are some swear words in it, but the characters wouldn't ring true without them," she said.
In her dealings with teens, Ms. Irvine said kids will talk about issues in a book quite openly, "much more so than discussing their own experiences, especially in a group setting."
"It is my hope that the book will serve as a spring-board for conversations about bullying, both in school and at home, especially for parents who don't know how to approach the subject," she said. "Although bullying seems to be more out in the open recently, much of the problem is still shrouded in silence. There are still teens that bully and teen victims that suffer in silence."
To teenagers, being the victim of a bully is so hurtful, so devastating, that it can drive some of these young people to consider taking their own lives, such as two recent incidents in Pickering and Ottawa.
Without the life experience to put bullying incidents into perspective, it is impossible for many teens to "suck it up" or "ignore it" as sometimes suggested by well-meaning parents, said Ms. Irvine.
For more information about 'When PUSH Comes to Shove Back', call Ms. Irvine at 905-349-2570, e-mail alzwellthatenzwell@gmail.com or visit http://www.whenpushcomestoshoveback.com/.