The following is the pitch and the excerpt sent to Amazon to enter the 2011 Breakthrough Novel Award Contest. There were 5,000 young adult entries and 5, 000 general fiction entries. When Push Comes to Shove Back placed in the top 5%.
To visit the novel on Amazon, use the link below.
The Pitch
The underlying concept of the novel is that terrorism, creating terror in others, whether it is global or individual, is defined the same way, operates under the same rules, and results in the same victimization and fear.
Jeremy Wilson has little supervision, little regard for others, and no rules; he has spent most of his life being a terrorist, a bully. Matt Carver has lived most of his life as a target. He has poor self-concept, little confidence and few friends. The strength of these main characters is in their growth. As the novel progresses, Jeremy begins to understand the concept of trust and sees, for the first time, actions that are not motivated by self-interest; gradually, those influences begin to change him. Matt discovers opportunities to use the secret knowledge that he has and, ultimately, to lead a group of fellow students in a war against drug dealers who have infiltrated their school
The plot, most of which takes place during one day, supports the character development by throwing Jeremy and Matt together in an action-filled adventure when Jeremy suddenly becomes the target of a drug dealer who not only threatens him but also uses his sister to demand compliance. Alternating between the voices of Matt and Jeremy and that of a narrator, the novel provides insight into the lives of these two boys and the students who, in various ways, become part of the plot to overthrow the egocentric, vicious Tim Halliday who uses his charm, his looks, and the façade of a star athlete to win general admiration from all.
The pace is fast, the events are often unexpected, and the suspense makes “When PUSH Comes to Shove Back” a riveting read with details and situations that ring true in the lives of teenagers.
The Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
PUSH
Monday 8:45 a.m.
Terrorism: the calculated use of, or threat of, violence to inculcate fear, to coerce or to intimidate
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Monday 8:45 a.m.
Terrorism: the calculated use of, or threat of, violence to inculcate fear, to coerce or to intimidate
Four boys quickly made their way down the crowded hallway, laughing and talking, just like everyone else on route to Monday morning classes. But they were on a different mission. It had to be timed right. It had to be fast and accurate. They had done it before.
They rounded the corner and moved into their final lap...fifty lockers away from their target. Change formation...forty lockers. Pick up speed...thirty lockers. Check for teachers...twenty. Get out of the way girl...ten. One on his right, one on his left, two at his back. Aaaaaand PUSH. Slam the door. Keep moving. Don’t look back. A direct hit.
They continued down the hall, high on the adrenaline of combat, trying to keep the bursts of laughter bottled up until they hit the stairwell, where they collapsed in fits of hysterics.
Inside the locker, Matt Carver waited. It was dark and he couldn’t breathe. His arm hurt and his leg was turned at a weird angle. He wished he could just disappear. Instead, he kicked at the door. On the third try, it flew open. The homework assignment he had been about to hand in was ripped and scrunched up on the floor. As he crawled out of his locker, he could hear girls giggling. Someone from across the hall yelled “Slam Dunk” and the laughter that followed told him that, as usual, there had been spectators.
His arm was scraped. He pulled his sweatshirt down over the blood oozing out. He picked his books up off the floor and retrieved what was left of his assignment. Without meeting anyone’s gaze, he slammed the misshapen locker door shut, forced his lock through the opening and went to class.
They rounded the corner and moved into their final lap...fifty lockers away from their target. Change formation...forty lockers. Pick up speed...thirty lockers. Check for teachers...twenty. Get out of the way girl...ten. One on his right, one on his left, two at his back. Aaaaaand PUSH. Slam the door. Keep moving. Don’t look back. A direct hit.
They continued down the hall, high on the adrenaline of combat, trying to keep the bursts of laughter bottled up until they hit the stairwell, where they collapsed in fits of hysterics.
Inside the locker, Matt Carver waited. It was dark and he couldn’t breathe. His arm hurt and his leg was turned at a weird angle. He wished he could just disappear. Instead, he kicked at the door. On the third try, it flew open. The homework assignment he had been about to hand in was ripped and scrunched up on the floor. As he crawled out of his locker, he could hear girls giggling. Someone from across the hall yelled “Slam Dunk” and the laughter that followed told him that, as usual, there had been spectators.
His arm was scraped. He pulled his sweatshirt down over the blood oozing out. He picked his books up off the floor and retrieved what was left of his assignment. Without meeting anyone’s gaze, he slammed the misshapen locker door shut, forced his lock through the opening and went to class.
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I really enjoyed your excerpt. I was intrigued by your pitch, because my book also involves terrorism. It's interesting, because you seem to have a different angle on it than I do. Are you American? I'm Irish, and grew up hearing about the terrorist attacks in Northern Ireland, and that shaped my book a little. I'd love to read your book, because I'm interested in how our culture shapes us as writers.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck :)
Thanks Christine. I am Canadian and, likewise, interested in the concept of culture shaping our perspectives
ReplyDeleteJanet, your novel is amazingly creative in structure, and your characters are realistic in dialogue and emotional portrayal. There's no hyperbole in the pitch--it's spot on!
ReplyDeleteI think the novel is fascinating on so many levels: interesting plot; deep character development; exploration of issues of abuse (drugs, crime, treatment of others) that are relevant to young adults and their parents; the concepts of right and wrong and that gray area in between that generates the more controversial reasons for making choices; relationships with family members, friends, oppressors, authority figures, and self. All these levels, and I've only read the excerpt!
Your writing makes me care about (and be concerned for) both Jeremy and Matt. I am interested to know the ways in which both boys' characters will change as the novel progresses. You've provided a hissable villain, but it isn't Jeremy. Your description of the disarming Tim helps to camouflage the fact that the abuse he brings to the plot is the most terrifying of all.
Janet, I can't see the professional reviewers doing anything but praising your work. However, it would be wonderful if you were to win the competition, if only for the resulting financial help in publishing your novel.
I think Amazon will sell innumerable copies of When PUSH Comes to Shove Back and that many of those copies will be found in schools and public libraries.
Heck, this novel puts you in the running for a public service award.
Congratulations and best wishes!
I would wish you luck but I truly think when the judges read this they will know they have a winner.
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ReplyDeleteVery exciting! I wanted to read only a paragraph or two and then get back to it later, but just had to read to the end. I wonder what comes next.
ReplyDeleteJanet,it is evident that you have lots of experience with teenagers and their daily concerns and issues. I expect this story will not only capture the interest of young adults but also be helpful to them in overcoming problems they encounter in their relationships with peers and others as they grow into the adults they aspire to be.
Best of luck! This work is worthy of praise!
Your characters and language are well suited to your theme. Young people, and those who care about them, will certainly relate to your story.
ReplyDeleteYour lead pulls the readers in; it makes them want to keep reading.
Your use of different points of view is a good idea, helping readers see both sides of a situation.
EXCELLENT!!!
I am looking forward to reading the rest of your book as the first couple of excerpts have been very engaging.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful idea of putting both points of view in the story. This really gives you an in depth understanding of both characters. Bravo!
Janet, after reading the excerpt, all sorts of memories came back from my 33 years in the education field. When I started teaching, I had no concept of what bullying was and certainly had no strategies on how to tackle the problem. It saddens me to recall how long it took me to start comprehending this issue.
ReplyDeleteIf this book continues in the same direction, I think it will become an important tool to provide insight on mindsets to how all involved are thinking. Bullies deny their actions, victims are helpless while persons in care are so often just as helpless. What surfaces are emotional and physical abuses along with the often irrational thinking of all. As we all know, surrounding circumstances, whether at home or at school, contribute to the thinking process of the individual. The excerpt already provides a lot of this with amazing depth. A book such as this one could provide a much needed understanding on how each party involved, whether passive or active, are arriving at their conclusions. I can foresee this book in many school libraries. Good luck!
This caught my interest right away with both the topic and the writing style. It's a very relevant topic in the schools today as this happens everyday to kids in our schools - and kids in my family. I am looking forward to reading the whole book and sharing it as a resource for other families.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent excerpt from a promising novel. The writing has good pacing and this was a fast, interesting read. The topic is an excellent one-- every year, students write pieces on the subject of bullying in my classes, and it is clear that this is a subject near to their hearts. We need more material that expose this problems, and also-- as the synopsis here suggests--creative solutions to the problem.
ReplyDeleteI like that the characters are alive and multi-faceted. Matt is not simply a victim, and Jeremy not simply a bully. Clearly, these characters will grow and we will become attached to them-- the essence of any novel.
Another aspect to this I liked was the T-gene discussion, and its collorary, the watchers. This was well explained, and its extension to teaching staff made it resonate all the more. The concept of "watchers" helps explain why a lot of injustice goes unreported, as people stand passively by (or record the event on their cell phones) and is a good one to make conscious.
This was a very interesting excerpt, and I will certainly purchase a completed novel. It suits its audience perfectly, and is a conscious, literate and professional piece of work!
Review from Amazon website:
ReplyDeleteIntense, April 22, 2011
This is an in-depth look at bullying that considers both the tormentor and the tormented. Both characters are well developed. Even the tormentor is treated with sympathy. The tone is dark and the intensity is maintained. This may be a good thing but may also make this a difficult read for some young adults. A little lightening of the tone to break the intensity could help engage the reader. The portrayal of bullying is very realistic and the characters believable. This excerpt is well written and the subject one that is receiving a lot of attention (finally), a good combo for a success.